Sunday, November 28, 2010

I wasn't prepared for this...

Flume
I am my mother's only one
It's enough

I wear my garment so it shows
Now you know

Only love is all maroon
Gluey feathers on a flume
Sky is womb and she's the moon

I am my mother on the wall, with us all
I move in water, shore to shore
Nothing's more

Only love is all maroon
Lapping lakes like leary loons
Leaving rope burns
Reddish ruse

Only love is all maroon
Gluey feathers on a flume
Sky is womb and she's the moon 



Music has been way too much to my senses lately. I'm not sure how to express it but I need to just lock myself up in a room and confront my memories with songs that I just.can't.shake. Words sung that are like nails on a chalkboard to my heart. Can I stop listening to music? Can I stop feeling? Can I live life as a light wave and ignore the fact that my being makes a sound in the universe? I can't. So here goes nothing. And today...I start with you Bon Iver.




....Someday my pain, someday my pain

Will mark you

Harness your blame, harness your blame

And walk through....

Friday, November 26, 2010

Its just too far...

vul·ner·a·ble[vuhl-ner-uh-buhl]
–adjective
1.capable of or susceptible to being wounded or hurt: a vulnerable part of the body.2.open to moral attack, criticism, temptation, etc.: anargument vulnerable to refutation; He is vulnerable to bribery.3. open to assault; difficult to defend: a vulnerablebridge

The first being the one I resonate with. It is such a scary thing to be vulnerable. What if things don't work out? What if I'm left to fight my fears alone??? What if I fail and no one is there to catch me?? When preparing to embark on this journey home. I fear that I will find the true meaning of home too late. If I travel the world and scatter my heart in the hands of the women, children and fathers and mothers and sisters and brothers that I meet...what will be left for me?? Is there suppose to be something left?? If home is where heart is where is home for me??? So many questions I have....so much love I have to embrace and so much I have to let go. How to know when to be strong...and when to just lay your burden down and trust others to carry you when you just can't anymore. When to know to lay it down and carry them....





Gonna lay my burden down
Gonna lay my body in the ground
Cold clay against my skin
But I don't care at all

Can't seem to find my piece of mind
So with the earth I'll lay entwined
Six feet underground
My feet are warm and dry

When I get to the other side
I'll put your picture way up high
But I'm not coming back to you
It's just too far

If I was cast off on the sea
Would you come and look for me
Or would you just let me sink
Beneath the waves so blue

What if I had learned to fly
Fly all night till day drew nigh
Touch down upon a branch and
Scan the crowd for you

When I touch my feet on the land
I'll kiss your lips and take you in
But you know I'm not here to stay
It's just too far

Darling can't you hear me cry
My bones are broke
My tongue is tied
The moon is swaying back and forth
Against the navy sky
Is all I can see
My body is trembling on my knees
Just have a little mercy on me
Run away and hide

When I sleep the angels sing
But I cannot hear a thing
Eyes close
Dreaming of better days gone by

When I wake the trumpets play
And I'm standing at the gates
Fall down and joy
I know my race has just been won

When I was young my momma would say
Well live is hard, but that's OK
If you can make it through the day
It's not that far
No, it's not that far



Lay My Burden Down


By Alison Krauss


Click link to hear the song its awesome.



Saturday, November 20, 2010

The Journey Begins!

Dear Readers,


I have never been inspired to begin or keep up with a blog until now. I realized the other day that in about a month I will be leaving Comer, Georgia and beginning my physical journey back to Africa. Beginning in Georgia, on to Florida,St.Louis, Houston,New York, London and then finally Johannesburg,South Africa. I'm not sure where my heart will be then in relationship to all its going through now...leaving friends, family etc...but all I know is the road has been placed before me once again...and my heart is going back home.

Stay tuned!